Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
not ubering you a puppy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
