Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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