did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
