Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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