if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize