What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
