You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
