I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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