i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
