hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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