): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
