They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
