I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
