its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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