who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
