jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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