New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do herpes really smell.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
