Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
