Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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