Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
