i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
