it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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