What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
That reminds me...we need to get swords
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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