Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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