All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This couple is walking their pig around campus
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
