My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
