Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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