I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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