He told me they were just razor bumps!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
