i may or may not be watching the land before time
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
