im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
