Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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