Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
