Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
