i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
