Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The ass gains better be worth it
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