I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
