you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize