He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
time to smoke my breakfast
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
