we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
