I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you inspire me to be a worse person
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
