There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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