I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
