im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
