Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
