I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
