Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
