im drinking this country out of the recession.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
