Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish i was in the wii world.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
