TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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