By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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