Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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