I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There r osticjed everywhere
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
