No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
