i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
