Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
