Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
