She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
