you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
