you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
