i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am available for nakedness
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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