Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
