How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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